-By: Allison Coles
Last week I spent a few days at my favorite vacation spot. Well, besides Tahiti, (I’m pretty sure I’d really like Tahiti) I was just at Seacrets in Ocean City, Maryland.
At Seacrets you throw all your troubles in the bay, order yourself a nice cold frozen ‘Pain in Da Ass’ and soak up the sun to try and get rid of the sunglasses tan you got the week before.
The sand floors, palm trees, live reggae music and tiki bars will make you feel like you just stepped into Jamaica. I’m literally obsessed with this place. Yeah, mon!
Enough about all that because none of you really want to hear about my vacation. I’m here to talk something else. Something that all of my ladies out there can agree with me on….
So, me and my girl Katie recapped our vacation over some brews the other day. We couldn’t get over the ridiculous things that men come up with to try and start conversation with girls. What goes through their heads when coming up with these awful pick up lines? Or even if they don’t use the lines, some guys just really need to brush up on how they approach ladies. Don’t fall into one of these categories…
Don’t be spotted creepily lurking behind us like you’re a predator trying to attack the prey and over-thinking how you’re going to start up this convo. If bumping into one of us to say, “Oh I’m sorry,” then stick around until you get the picture is your go-to, please try to re-evaluate your method. Just keep it cool, my dude.
If you’re out for your bachelor party, please don’t be the guy that comes up to us. Maybe if your friend’s shy and you’re the one to break the ice, I’ll give you a pass on this one. If that isn’t the case, don’t come up to us with “If your heart’s not broken, it’s about to be, I’m on my bachelor party” and then proceed to drop your cup on our feet, because that my friend, is not smooth.
This is when you come on way too strong from the beginning. If you can’t help it, at least leave your cocky attitude back with your boys. Your name is not Fillmore Holes, bucko.
Sometimes all we could do was just laugh. Or when you’re really stuck in a jam, we were forced to drop the code word. SHITTERFLY! Don’t judge the code word, it gets weird on drunken vacation nights.
These are some of the many characters we met during our stay in OCMD. Let me just add one more thing here, if you’re hot or smooth with it, disregard all of the above.